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1969, 2269, Klingon, Star Trek, Vulcan

“The Savage Curtain”

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“Yep. I’m in a chair, floating in space. Honest Abe, people.”

After encountering Abraham Lincoln (Lee Bergere) floating in space (for realz) the crew beams him aboard. He sort of seems like the genuine article and he vaguely tells Kirk that the answers about him are on a nearby planet the ship was exploring. Upon beaming down, Kirk, Spock and Lincoln are joined by Surak (Barry Atwater), the father of the Vulcan people. Then, some weird rock things who live on the planet tell our heroes that they have to fight recreations of four evil figures from history. The bad guys include Genghis Khan (Nathan Gung) who really likes to throw rocks; some weird witch woman, Zora (Carol Daniels) not to be confused with a witch-ay woman; Kahless the Unforgettable (Robert Herron) essentially, the Klingon messiah who apparently doubles as a voiceover actor; and Colonel Green (Phillip Pine) a notorious figure from 21st-century Earth. All the historical figures are recreations (I guess?) and the rock creatures want to examine the difference between good and evil. After a bunch of by-the-numbers fight scenes where Kirk and Co. win, but don’t kill the bad guys, they learn that it’s mercy or something.

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“Live long … and don’t make fun of my really weird outfit.”

Why it’s important

As goofy as this episode is — it seems like something straight out of The Animated Series — it introduces two (possibly three) key figures in the history of Star Trek. Both Kahless and Surak appear in second-generation Trek (Kahless in TNG’s “Rightful Heir” and later references and Surak in the fourth-season Vulcan arc in “Star Trek: Enterprise”). Colonel Green, while certainly not a messiah figure, is an important guy in Earth’s history. He pops up in a recording in “Terra Prime” at the end of the fourth season of “Star Trek: Enterprise,” and it turns out he’s a sort of hero to the Earth-for-humans movement because he euthanized a bunch of people deformed by radiation during World War III. Yay!

Now, I’ll give the creators props for sticking with some continuity. It wouldn’t be unheard of for a character like Surak or Kahless to be introduced (particularly in the waning days of TOS) only to be forgotten. Garth of Izar, was introduced in TOS’s third season as the “model” for starship captains and an important historical figure. But we never hear of him after that episode.

(In another example, Kirk, Spock and McCoy meet the immortal human Flint — who had been Solomon, Alexander the Great, Merlin, da Vinci, Brahms and possibly others — in “Requiem for Methuselah,” arguably the weirdest episode of TOS. We won’t review it as it’s not part of any additional Star Trek lore. But it’s worth a watch because its premise surrounds a very, very interesting concept. Unfortunately, the creators decided to take it in a bizarre direction, in which the immortal Flint builds an android to be with him and tries to use Kirk to get her to learn to love, or something. Kirk and the android fall for each other, Flint and Kirk fight over her, the android dies and Spock later removes Kirk’s memories to help with his heartbreak! Oh, and all of this happens in the span of THREE HOURS as Kirk, Spock and McCoy work with Flint to get a drug from his planet to save a dying Enterprise crew. Even stranger, there appears to be no effort after this episode to contact Flint. Given Spock’s statements in other episodes about the opportunities for research, like the planet killer in “The Doomsday Machine” or the weird aliens in “Catspaw”, it’s odd that they just walk away from Flint. Of course, they did something similar in “Metamorphosis.”)

Of course, Surak, Green and Kahless are all very different the next time we see them — with a special emphasis on Kahless …

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“You’ll see that we’ve set up a buffet of bad guys, Captain Kirk. It’s like a Golden Corral… of evil!”

What doesn’t hold up

Surak sure looks different (and dresses differently) than he does in Enterprise as does Green. But that’s really not a big thing. The transformation of Kahless, however, is kinda nuts. Here, he dresses like the 23rd-century Klingons we see in TOS, he doesn’t have forehead ridges or long hair (undermining the genetic experiment explanation for Klingon foreheads from Enterprise) he can mimic voices in the stylings of Lt. Commander Data and (probably most importantly) he’s characterized as an evil dude who inspired all the “tyrannies” the Klingons would go on to commit. Oh, and he’s totally subservient to Colonel Green. Weird.

By the time we see Kahless in TNG — or, rather, a clone of Kahless who is made to act like the genuine article — he’s not an evil guy, he has forehead ridges and dresses in garb that’s not out of a 23rd century JC Penney on Kronos. And he has no (apparent) ability to be the Klingons’ very own Mel Blanc. This is actually a case example of how Klingons went from mostly evil, treacherous bastards in TOS and the movies (think Kruge in “Star Trek III: The Search for Spock”) to honorable warriors in TNG and DS9 (Worf, Martok, etc.). There were some tweeners over the years, like Kang, Gowron and Gorkon. But retconning a character previously equated with Genghis Khan into a mostly good dude? It’s pretty laughable.

I’ve heard the theory that the rock dudes in this episode generated Kahless from what Kirk thought Kahless would be like — which means Kirk heard the name and drew his own conclusions or read a very biased history on the Klingons (does D’Nesh D’Souza write about Klingon history?). But writing the Kahless inconsistencies off as a flaw in Kirk’s version of him is weak sauce, especially because the rock dudes generated Surak, someone Kirk had never heard of (which, by itself, is pretty ridiculous, as it makes Kirk look like a real idiot). Did they pull Surak from Spock’s mind but everyone else from Kirk’s?

Final thoughts

Well, we say it in our About Us page. Reviewing an episode doesn’t mean we endorse it. “The Savage Curtain” certainly isn’t the worst episode of TOS and it’s arguably not even in the bottom five of TOS’s infamous third season. As hokey and goofy as some of it is, it has some zip to it and some decent dialog. It’s not dreadfully dull AND preposterous like “The Lights of Zetar” or “And the Children Shall Lead.” It’s really just preposterous.

Why did the creators decided to put Lincoln in a chair IN SPACE to start the episode? Why did the creators allow a recreation of the father of Vulcan logic to get killed and Lincoln to be impaled by a spear? Oh, and in another ridiculous moment, Kirk tells Lincoln that the Enterprise can “convert” to minutes. WTF? Was Kirk making a really lame joke at the expense of one of his personal heroes and a key figure in Earth history? Kirk and Co. have used minutes since the very first episodes of the series. They use HOURS later in this episode!

This episode also features the really stupid cliche where the bridge crew watches some fight to the death along with the audience — complete with (groan) the same camera angles. This only happens a few times in TOS (“Arena” “The Gamesters of Triskelion” and here) but it’s one of my least favorite TOS devices. Naturally, it shows up in “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier,” the worst of the Trek films.

All that said, I did kinda like the moment where Lincoln says Kirk reminds him of Ulysses S. Grant — and equates Grant with drinking whiskey.

1968, 2268, Romulan, Star Trek

“The Enterprise Incident”

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“Whoa. Is this Tranya? Because I am relishing the hell out of it.”

Kirk apparently goes all rogue and takes the Enterprise into Romulan territory without authorization. The Enterprise is quickly surrounded by Romulan ships that have Klingon design and sport new and improved cloaking devices that render ships invisible and (for the first time) hidden from tracking sensors. Kirk and Spock beam over to one of the Romulan ships to face the music and Spock reveals that Kirk has gone nuts and then apparently kills Kirk in a struggle. But it’s all a ploy to get a cloaking device and neutralize the new Romulan threat, and Kirk (alive and well) poses as a Romulan and steals the cloaking device while Spock distracts the Romulan commander (Joanne Linville) by (ahem) throwing her a few curves. The Enterprise barely escapes after Scotty incorporates the cloak on the Enterprise. With the cloaking device in hand, the Federation will be able to negate any new advantage and keep the status quo between the two superpowers.

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“Spock, I just realized that other Romulan commander looked JUST like your dad.”

Why it’s important

It’s the first time since “Balance of Terror” where the Romulans are more than baddies taking potshots at the Enterprise (or, if you prefer, more than Voyager-style aliens of the week). We learn a lot more about the Romulans and how they’re like and unlike Vulcans. The dialog between Kirk and the Romulan commander is important in explaining the relationship between the two enemies and how the galaxy works in the 23rd century. We learn about steps that could and would be taken after territorial incursions — and just how tense the situation is.

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Today is a good day … to use our new Klingon ship models and not really explain how the Romulans got them.

What doesn’t hold up

Well, the conceit that Romulans use Klingon design for their vessels is pretty rich. It’s so hurriedly explained that it clearly wasn’t anything the creators wanted to get into — while the fact that the Bird of Prey first seen in “Balance of Terror” had no warp capabilities (and apparently a very small crew) could have something to do with the choice. Or the creators just really liked the new Klingon design, which was first seen in “Elaan of Troyius” and is pretty badass. There’s also a theory that the Bird of Prey model was lost or damaged, and the Klingon model reused for budgetary reasons. It’s actually kind of funny, because this episode was produced after but originally aired before “Elaan of Troyius,” meaning that the ship first debuted as a Romulan vessel, even though it was first built and filmed as a Klingon vessel.

As good as “The Enterprise Incident” is, one wonders if the Romulans wouldn’t be gearing for war after the events here. Granted, the Federation obtained knowledge of the new cloaking device, negating a tactical advantage. But the Enterprise clearly violated treaty — committing an act of war — and Kirk’s presence on the bridge at the end of the episode should have been enough evidence that Kirk didn’t go nuts/rogue. It would have called everything Spock said to push forward that con into question.

Is the thinking that the Romulans were ashamed that they’d been out-Romulanned, so they tipped their hats and walked away? Or is this just the first example of season three’s anything-goes approach — like the time Spock removes several days worth of memories to prevent Jimbo from having a sad, or the time Spock has brain surgery twice in a few days without any obvious impact on his hair?

Final thoughts

This is one of my favorite episodes of TOS, even acknowledging the logical gaffes. The scenes with Spock and the Romulan commander are, well, fascinating. The writing is taut and the look inside the Romulan ship is, mostly, well done — even if it’s obvious that the corridors from the Enterprise were reused with different lighting.

Apparently, the Romulans started using Klingon ship design because the two powers forged some sort of a pact, perhaps an alliance. It’s never mentioned explicitly, but the sharing of any technology is odd, given how much the Klingons and Romulans are shown to hate each other in TNG and DS9. Like other episodes, it opens a can of worms on when, exactly, the Romulans and the Klingons started hating each other and when the Klingons and Federation became allies. More on the weird love triangle between the Federation, Romulans and Klingons when we review TNG’s “Heart of Glory” and “The Neutral Zone” in a few months.

“The Enterprise Incident” also stands out because of all the really bad episodes that follow it in TOS’ infamous third season. And while Sulu, Chekov and Uhura are restricted to procedural scenes on the bridge, this episode is one of Trek’s better ensemble pieces. It’s worth noting that there really aren’t that many episodes where all seven of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Uhura and Chekov appear — partly because Chekov doesn’t show up at all the in the first season and probably also due to budget reasons.

The creators made an interesting choice in the remastered version of this episode, making one of the three ships that surround the Enterprise a Bird of Prey from “Balance of Terror”, replacing a third Romulan/Klingon cruiser (as you can see in the photo above). It’s a nod to continuity and almost a wink to the idea that the creators in the ’60s used the Klingon ship model (which is much cooler looking than the Bird of Prey) here.

1967, 2267, Andorian, Star Trek, Vulcan

“Journey to Babel”

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The United Federation of Planets, in a nutshell, circa 2267. Not sure why the Klingons or Romulans were worried.

The Enterprise transports a group of dignitaries to a conference regarding Coridan’s admission to the Federation. We meet the Vulcan representative Sarek, Spock’s father (Mark Lenard) who travels with his human wife and Spock’s mother, Amanda (Jane Wyatt). Spock’s relationship with Sarek and Amanda is strained, an important point when it’s learned that Sarek needs a blood transfusion from Spock to live, as he’s been hiding a heart condition. Meanwhile, a Tellarite dignitary is found dead and Kirk is stabbed by what appears to be an Andorian (really, an Orion agent cosmetically altered). With Kirk in sickbay, Spock refuses to yield command and commence with the transfusion, so a wounded Kirk heads to the bridge to relieve Spock, hoping to fool him into undergoing the procedure. Spock leaves and McCoy begins the operation, while a weakened Kirk must command the Enterprise through a battle with unidentified aliens (who turn out to be Orions with mining interests on Coridan). Kirk’s tactical genius saves the day once again, and McCoy completes the operation, saving Spock and Sarek.

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The Lollipop Guild was a Federation member, apparently. Also, is that a space bong?

Why it’s important

Well, with a summary like that, you can see where there was a lot of plot and a lot of foundation. We’re introduced to the Tellarites and the Andorians — who, as a result, are later shown to be early members of the Federation — the Orions (beyond the slave girl stuff in “The Cage”) and, of course Spock’s parents. D.C. Fontana’s scripts were often written with continuity in mind as she commonly brought back an earlier enemy and fleshed them out (“Friday’s Child” and “The Enterprise Incident”). The Tellarites’ argumentative tendencies and the Andorians’ warrior traits are first shown here, too, and define both species in “Star Trek: Enterprise.” That relies on the somewhat hoary sci-fi crutch that all members of a race pretty much act the same (not to mention that they look the same and dress the same). But this is one of only three times Andorians appear in TOS and one of two times Tellarites do — and it’s the only episode where they’re not just sort of personality-less background dudes or henchmen.

Meanwhile, Spock’s estrangement from his family is established here. It’s (ahem) a fascinating bit of backstory for one of Star Trek’s cornerstone characters, even though it’s not Earth-shattering (galaxy-shattering, Vulcan-shattering?) in what it means to the rest of the franchise. In other words, Spock’s backstory wouldn’t have, say, changed Federation history or anything. But it is good stuff.

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“Oh, come on, Bones. That female Tellarite was HOT.” “Might be time for a stop at Wrigley’s Pleasure Planet, Jim.”

What doesn’t hold up

Not a lot of issues here. The Tellarite mask is pretty terrible, but whatevs. It is interesting that Spock won’t yield command when lower officers have been left in charge before (e.g. Sulu in “Errand of Mercy” or Scotty in like half of the third season). But that can mostly be explained by Spock’s sense of duty/logic with his pops around. Oh, and I wonder if Spock ever mentioned to Sarek that his identical twin happened to be a Romulan commander? Eh, it’s not their way, I guess.

Now, there was that scene way back in “The Corbomite Maneuver” that made it sound like Spock’s parents (or, at least Amanda) were long-since dead. She WAS a very happy Earth woman, remember? Interestingly enough, the same thing happens with Sisko’s father in DS9. And, of course, there’s that line in “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” where Spock says one of his ancestors was human. I suppose an ancestor could be his mother, but that seems like a stretch.

Final thoughts

This episode really is the only time in TOS when the Federation appears (with visual evidence) to be much more than humans and Vulcans, so it’s extremely important. There’s some dumb-looking background aliens who could have been straight out of “Buck Rogers,” but it’s cool that the Andorians, Tellarites, Coridanites (not seen here) and Orions (not really seen here, either) all pop up later.

This episode isn’t the first time the United Federation of Planets is mentioned. The first reference was in “A Taste of Armageddon,” after a smattering of terms like the United Earth Space Probe Agency, “Space Central” or just mentions of Earth for much of season one.  But “Journey to Babel” is the first time we see the intergalactic community that’s taken shape with humans at or near the center of it. We’ll learn in “Star Trek: Enterprise” just how pivotal Earth was in the founding of the Federation.

1968, 2268, Star Trek

“Bread and Circuses”

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“Hodgkins Law of what? You never mentioned any blessed such thing on all the other Earth-like planets we’ve visited, Jim!”

The Enterprise finds the remains of the S.S. Beagle, lost for six years, and tracks it to a planet that, based on broadcasts, is “20th-century Rome.” Kirk, Spock and McCoy beam down (natch) to look for survivors and are captured by a group of runaway slaves who (apparently) worship the sun. Working around the Prime Directive, which he cares about in the second season, Kirk gets the slaves to take the Big Three to the capitol. Shortly thereafter, the group is taken prisoner, and learns that the Beagle’s Captain Merrick (William Smithers) has violated the Prime Directive in order to survive, even telling the Roman Procounsel Marcus (Logan Ramsey) about the Federation. Kirk refuses to beam down the Enterprise crew to engage in coliseum-style battles and (after — hehe — being thrown a few curves) faces execution. He manages to escape thanks to some unbelievably timely assistance from Scotty on the ship and then frees Spock and McCoy. As the Romans close in on the trio, Merrick — who had been emasculated by the procounsel for much of the episode — tosses a communicator to Kirk allowing the trio to beam out. During the typical postgame wrap-up on the ship, Uhura tells Kirk that the slaves were actually worshiping the son of God, based on broadcasts she’s been monitoring. Kirk expresses wonderment that the planet is about to find Christ in the 20th century … and sets course for the next mission.

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“I’ll just tell Spock and Bones that ‘they threw me a few curves.’ That’ll be funnier and less creepy than saying I banged the procounsel’s slave girl.”

Why it’s important

This is the first episode that really explains the Prime Directive, which is first mentioned, and then promptly ignored by Jimbo, in “Return of the Archons”. It’s also another example of the goofy parallel-Earth trope that TOS made us sit through three to four times a season (clearly, to save money). Also mentioned here is Hodgkins Law of Parallel Planetary Development as a quick (and actually pretty weak) way of justifying why so many planets are Earth-like. More on that in a moment.

Aside from the Prime Directive exploration, it’s probably important to review an episode like “Bread and Circuses” on this site, as finding Earth-like planets was such a big part of TOS. This episode is the one that best explains why such planets keep popping up, which is to say, it provided any explanation at all.

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“Doctor McCoy, do you have any idea when we’ll visit parallel Vulcans?”

Why doesn’t hold up

TOS was just all over the place as far as the Prime Directive. At times — like in this episode — it’s something that Kirk says can’t be bent at all, even if it means his life and his crew are forfeit. At others, Kirk breaks it if his ship or crew is in danger, if he thinks it’s the right thing to do or if he just thinks chicks really dig outlaws. In this episode, as he Spock and McCoy are facing certain death, he refuses to break the order.

I actually don’t take issue with Kirk breaking the Prime Directive in some instances, as doing so is in keeping with his character. But it’s just ridiculous when he goes all Joe Friday about enforcing it in episodes like this. I know that TOS was written with less regard for continuity and that complaining about Prime Directive violations is odd in a series with episodes about brain theft, space hippies and crewmen evolving into lizards after going warp 10 (wait, that last one was Voyager). But still.

It’s also odd that the Prime Directive, in TOS, seems mostly about not interfering with primitive societies. In TNG and DS9, it’s apparently been expanded to keep Starfleet from messing with internal affairs of warp-capable societies, like the Klingons during their civil war. It’s not that hard to believe that the Prime Directive would have been expanded — and, certainly, staying out of sovereign affairs of other species is a pretty good idea. But if Kirk and Co. had been held to the 24th-century standard, the crew would have been mining borite faster than you can say “General Order 1.”

As for this Hodgkin’s Law business, it’s an odd throwaway line (during Kirk’s log entry) in this episode and never really mentioned again, despite other parallel-Earth episodes. Even if you figure it wouldn’t be applicable when outside forces made planets Earth-like (“Patterns of Force,” “A Piece of the Action”, “The Paradise Syndrome”) it’s totally applicable for two of the series’ worst showings in “The Omega Glory” and “Miri”. And yet, it’s only mentioned here.

And if Kirk is really as gung-ho about the Prime Directive as he appears in this episode, his planning abilities are just awful. Why Kirk, Spock and McCoy would beam down to the planet — wearing their uniforms way out in the sticks — as a way to investigate “20th century Rome” is just laughable. Do they think they’ll figure anything out on their hike to the city without being discovered? In other episodes, Kirk and Co. dressed like the locals to fit in. Maybe they really do need a ship’s historian?

Oh, and while I did like Scotty’s idea to cause a power outage as a show of strength, it’s just crazy that the timing works SO well. What if Scotty had turned the lights out while Kirk was being given one last “night as a man” by the procounsel’s slave girl?

Final thoughts

Of course, there’s the big item in this episode, which is the reveal that Christ is coming to 20th-century Rome. TOS had the most instances where some sort of religion was obliquely mentioned — e.g., the “laws of man and god” in “The Ultimate Computer” —  but it’s really pretty overt here, while still leaving a LOT open to interpretation.

I’m not sure how I feel about it, really. The final scene could simply paint Christ as a key philosopher, but not a religious figure, in the eyes of Kirk and Co. Earlier in the episode, Bones does say that they have “many beliefs,” possibly implying that not everybody (or every 23rd-century human) is a Christian.

Or … you can watch the scene and come away feeling as if the idea that Christ was some sort or religious savior is SO obvious to crew of the ship that they DON’T need to explain that they’re all Christians. It’s clever in a way, but so odd that I can’t quite get behind it. As it stands, it’s just a head-scratcher.